1. I’m grateful for taking time off when I needed it, rather than pushing myself to keep blogging when my heart wasn’t in it. Look for a real update in my next post, but for now I’ll just say September and October were especially challenging.
2. I’m grateful for all the lovely things that happened in the last three months, in spite of my struggles. There was a weekend trip to Montpelier, Vermont to spend time with both of my sisters. Our low-key second wedding anniversary. The lovely gift of winter tires from my parents. A nice Thanksgiving at my parents’ new home with the family. Plenty of sledding, thanks to my new job as a part-time nanny. A fun (but stormy) overnight in NYC to do All The Christmas Things. Free hot chocolate and a screening of The Muppets’ Christmas Carol in Rosendale. A return trip to Storm King to see art amid the fall foliage.3. I’m grateful for listening to myself when I needed to most. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in doing what we feel like we should be doing. But to realize that what feels right and good in your heart diverges from the path you’ve set for yourself can feel like a punch in the gut. I’m so glad I trusted my own judgment.
4. I’m grateful for feeling good lately! Being depressed throughout the fall and winter is pretty much standard for me. Somehow, this year has been different: more active and present and saying yes to things (see above list of activities), instead of curling up by myself, wanting to sleep forever. As Andy would say, huzzah! I honestly can’t remember a December in my adult life when I wasn’t depressed. So this feeling actually okay around Christmastime is foreign to me, but I’m trying not to question it 🙂And lastly, I’m grateful for Ted talks. They can be inspiring, or informational. You can watch the videos online or download the audio files to listen to in the car (I only just started doing that recently! It’s such a great way to pass the time when you spend a lot of the day driving). Here are two talks that I could relate to (thanks to my friend Ellen!):
What are you grateful for today?
Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you become for it. –Steve Maraboli