Gratitude, Mental Health

On Seasons and Sadness + A Lack of Foodiness

September 21, 2012

September 21. Where the heck did September go? As I jog in the morning, I can see my breath. When I walk the path to my front door, red leaves crunch underfoot, a sure sign that summer is gone.  This weekend is the autumnal equinox, and then once again the dark hours will outnumber the daylight hours. It’s amazing how I can give myself all these tasks, assignments, really: take Vitamin D, get up earlier, spend more time outside, sit under the super-bright lamp to trick my mind into thinking it’s getting more daylight…and despite all that, it really is like clockwork.  The sadness comes and disrupts my plans, and I’m left lying still: startled and indignant, frustrated, with an Ohhhhh, here it is.

It’s not constant right now, but lately it’s been sneaking in and staying more often.

 This week, I have made baked eggs with shredded cauliflower in kale cups (new use for the muffin tins!), banana chocolate chip bread, kale and avocado salad, basil-walnut-cherry tomato pesto, zucchini brownies, and a quesadilla or two– some with good photographic evidence, others not so much.

For now, I wish you a peaceful start to your day, filled with a sense of hope and gratitude. Know that I appreciate every single person who stops by and reads these words, or looks at these pictures. (Seriously, I’ve barely been live a month and knowing that every day, multiple people- often dozens!- read what I publish on here…it’s a pretty cool feeling.)

I’m sure I’ll be back with my lighter, snarkier self in a day or two.

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

*

And please. Always remember that beautiful experiences and massive amounts of love are on their way. —Chris Gethard

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I wasn’t going to give you any links with this post, but these two are pretty much invaluable:

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  • Sue September 21, 2012 at 9:26 am

    You’re stronger than you know and you can get through this.

    • Christy September 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm

      In those moments, I feel the opposite of strong- but intellectually, I know that it’s true.

  • Aunt Susie September 21, 2012 at 10:19 am

    And you are loved as well. I find getting up earlier is a good thing too. So clever of us to be on the same page….the whole page….all of it is so true.

    My decision is to take as much control as I possibly can, when I can. Early up early with goals for the day help me a lot. Playing with my dog, Betsy, always makes me smile and just plain feels good. I adopted a little, 12#, cutie a few weeks ago….we both needed a forever friend and we’re getting along very well, thank you. Betsy is a mini schnauzer……mixed with what? Another dog! lol lol Maybe a poodle or a scottie….whatever it was it made her super cute. If I knew how to send pics I would. 🙁

    You are doing many good things for yourself. Bravo! Running! Blogging! Cooking! Baking! Photography! Wifeing! Friending! Soaking up your surroundings! Reading! (In no particular order.) You are amazing!

    XOXOXO

    • Christy September 21, 2012 at 12:10 pm

      I think I can feel your love from across the miles <3 I agree- dogs are always good to play with. Babies for me have the same effect; I've been watching our friends' eight month old once a week and it's such a joy to watch her develop.

      The jogging doesn't happen every day, but I'm glad that I started doing it again. And the 'friending'...that seems like the toughest part to maintain. Reaching out is this huge step, like lifting a 50 lb arm up through quicksand just to make contact, but I do try.

      Thank you xoxo

  • Tatiana September 21, 2012 at 10:28 am

    This is a great blog! I totally feel you on the loss of daylight thing. That creeping sadness is a part of the seasonal journey that I have not quite come to terms with yet.
    Can you share more about the baked eggs recipe? I want to try it! Do you pre-cook the veggies? What temp do you bake on?
    Thanks!

    • Christy September 21, 2012 at 12:06 pm

      Thank you, Tatiana- nice to see a new ‘face’ 🙂 I think I’ve been coming to terms with this seasonal journey more and more each year. Here’s to acceptance!

      My husband and I exclaimed over how cute and seemingly photogenic the eggs-in-kale were, and then of course my photos came out blurry. I will make them again and feature them in a post next week!

  • Deb September 21, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    You are sharing your journey and your strengths, and I know it will help others who share similar journeys at this season of the year. I reach out “over the interwebs” and send you my love and gratitude for the caring, strong woman you are. I am reminded to enjoy the outdoors, walking, and nurturing our inner ‘temples’, even if its squeezed in among other things that steal my attention. You are gifted, my dear, keep on with whatever works for you, and remember how much you are loved always! p.s. Can’t wait to try more recipes, your pictures make my mouth water!

    • Christy September 24, 2012 at 11:48 am

      Thanks for your support Mom <3

  • Danielle Eve September 24, 2012 at 10:37 am

    I’ve been thinking a lot about this article since you posted it, and what strikes me most is that it reaffirmed something about myself I have only been vaguely aware of. That is, I feel the exact opposite… I look forward to the cold winter with so much anticipation, I am planning for it all summer. Winter is so reassuring, so cozy, with its 8 layers of shirts swaddling me from all the memories of the noise and distraction of the summer. At the first snowfall I breathe a deep relieving breath of gratitude as I am able to return, once again, to myself. The insulating silence of snow is a buffer from the world and I retreat into my universe of creative winter projects and all the reading and self-imposed learning and personal reflection and life goals I put off for all those warmer months. I wouldn’t say I feel depressed in any way during the summer, but I find it so exposing, so in-your-face with it’s sunny pressure to be so all-important and even socially defining. Summer can feel so overwhelming and fast-moving, so distracting and unrelenting with its sun and heat and noise and traffic and active obligations; it is inside the winter where we can find ourselves free of all those influences and re-learn how to sit quietly with ourselves…

    PS Thank you for this blog — it is my new favorite!

  • Danielle Eve September 24, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Afterthought:
    Okay, one more way to describe the weight of summer: excessive consumption.
    One more way to describe the deliciousness of winter: more meaningful, intimate social interactions.

    Just thoughts…. 😉

  • Christy September 24, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    I am glad we are getting to know each other better and better, let me say that. Also, I need to think of another word besides APPRECIATE because I APPRECIATE you visiting, liking, commenting, referring, etc- but then this whole response? Another level. Thesaurus.com tells me I should say *beholden* in place of appreciative. Sure, why not?

    On one level, I’m all about the cozy things- the sweaters and fires and insulation and catching up on reading and crunchy leaves underfoot- but I suppose what I’m saying in this post is that I wish I didn’t feel so powerless in the face of the (MELODRAMATIC) tidal wave of sadness/loneliness/blankness. It just seems to come and overpower me- yes, more intimate social interactions!, I can say right now that I am all for those, and then I remember last winter when you guys popped by for a bit and I felt supremely uncomfortable and…exposed. And just not *myself, not at ease. I’d like to think that the more I talk about it/am aware/prepare, the less intense it will be this winter.

    P.S. As long as I’m somebody’s favorite, I’ll keep this up, deal? 🙂

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